The Friendly Loner

Recently I have talked to friends and family that I haven't talked to for quite some time. I have been battling with the fact that I am not very friendly. I "hang out" with people whenever I good-n-well please to. My time is precious to me and I spend it how I want to. I would be totally fine with doing things on my own. I am happy to be a loner. I don't enjoy conversations. Maybe this is not so bad, because honestly aren't most conversations frivolous anyway? This may seem strange, but I marvel how some people can talk for so long. In some ways I wish I could do the same. Carrying a conversation for me is like trying to speak a sentence in Spanish class. It's all Greek to me. Being my friend is probably like having a friendship with a foreign student. Except, I don't care to understand your language. Do you have shivers up your spine yet with how cold I can be? The odd thing is...I do care. Sometimes I think my life is a paradox. I am sharing this after months of reflection. The Lord has convicted me to be more friendly. I may care on the inside, but I need to show it on the outside. "A man that hath friends must show himself friendly." "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." These verses are obviously about much more than conversations. However, I do think talking to others is part of being friendly. I have chosen within the past couple months to be a friendly person. I don't think this means the "life of the party" or a flamboyant personality. Much of it can be to just sit there and enjoy listening. I actually am starting to enjoy conversations a little bit. I am a very private person. Well, not anymore. This is one of the reasons I started a blog. If you see me around...I would love to have a conversation with you...you might need to do most of the talking though. If I ever seemed to be disinterested in the past, I apologize. That all said, my wife and children have been in Louisiana at my wife's parents now for over 2 weeks. I will pick them up from the airport in almost exactly 24 hours Lord willing. I look forward to sitting down with each one of them and having conversations. They are my best friends and it's time I show myself friendly.