Letting Go

Soulful Tragedy
Plays its own melody
The tick of the bomb
The hiss of the snake
Breaks down sugar
To make a lemon cake
Heightened senses
Feel each prick
Whether from words
Or stones or a stick
See through lenses
Where you’ve created fences
Notice behind you is a door
Don’t lock it anymore
Your mind is playing tricks
Maybe you’ve seen too many flicks
Or maybe it is real
The things you feel
But no matter
The time has come
Can you hear the tick?
What’s inside you
Will make your lineage sick.
You might not let it show
But you must also let it go.
Kill the suspense
Or eventually you will see
The same fence
surround your family tree.

1/17/09
Copyright © 2009 Brian Jackson All rights reserved

I especially like short profound statements...this one says a lot.

"A friend is a gift you give yourself."

~ Robert Louis Stevenson

The Friendly Loner

Recently I have talked to friends and family that I haven't talked to for quite some time. I have been battling with the fact that I am not very friendly. I "hang out" with people whenever I good-n-well please to. My time is precious to me and I spend it how I want to. I would be totally fine with doing things on my own. I am happy to be a loner. I don't enjoy conversations. Maybe this is not so bad, because honestly aren't most conversations frivolous anyway? This may seem strange, but I marvel how some people can talk for so long. In some ways I wish I could do the same. Carrying a conversation for me is like trying to speak a sentence in Spanish class. It's all Greek to me. Being my friend is probably like having a friendship with a foreign student. Except, I don't care to understand your language. Do you have shivers up your spine yet with how cold I can be? The odd thing is...I do care. Sometimes I think my life is a paradox. I am sharing this after months of reflection. The Lord has convicted me to be more friendly. I may care on the inside, but I need to show it on the outside. "A man that hath friends must show himself friendly." "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." These verses are obviously about much more than conversations. However, I do think talking to others is part of being friendly. I have chosen within the past couple months to be a friendly person. I don't think this means the "life of the party" or a flamboyant personality. Much of it can be to just sit there and enjoy listening. I actually am starting to enjoy conversations a little bit. I am a very private person. Well, not anymore. This is one of the reasons I started a blog. If you see me around...I would love to have a conversation with you...you might need to do most of the talking though. If I ever seemed to be disinterested in the past, I apologize. That all said, my wife and children have been in Louisiana at my wife's parents now for over 2 weeks. I will pick them up from the airport in almost exactly 24 hours Lord willing. I look forward to sitting down with each one of them and having conversations. They are my best friends and it's time I show myself friendly.