Saturday, June 12, 2010

World Cup - World Peace or World War? (A creative writing submission)

I don’t like wars, because people have to die. However, I do like swordplay and shooting guns. Maybe if our soldiers were trained to stab and shoot so as not to kill, then I would like wars better. These would truly be elite soldiers. Although, we would need to enlist a lot more nurses and doctors and I really don’t think we have enough…so I guess they would die anyway. Some desire to die by the sword, but most die from cancer. What if we just had nurses and doctors carry guns?

One war I can say I like hands down is Star Wars. Maybe it’s because these wars are fought in another galaxy so far away that it almost seems unreal. This brings up the question of using Drones. Are we OK with killing people from a video screen? Have we been desensitized by video games and movies that it doesn’t seem real. This is a serious subject and I’ll leave this conversation alone for now.

Star Wars is good, because you are killing robots most of the time and we all know what happened in the final Terminator movie. We must bring the war to them before they take over. However, I think we should let C3PO and R2D2 live, as long as we came up with a good contract for them to sign. This would prevent them from ever developing a Union of robots. Our President is for Unions, so I think secretly he is for a robot nation.

I know some of you are thinking, “but they do shoot humans in Star Wars”. However, you forgot one important part in the movie…these are drones. So the real question is, should we shoot drones? Are they real people? Maybe we call our unmanned killing machines drones to desensitize us for drone people that Obama is creating at this moment on some planet no longer in our solar system records. Remember the key is to look for gravitational pull.

The other good part about Star Wars is the Force. You might have never thought about this, but the Force allows us to manipulate machines and we might need to do this someday. Machines cannot use the Force and this would give us the upper hand. The thought that keeps me up at night is if machines ever learned how to manipulate the Force through some unknown mathematical equation that we never thought possible. But I guess we will never know the answer and I am afraid to even ask this question of a machine, less they figure out the answer. Because you know machines always think they have the answer and when they don’t, they either explode or develop server farms with Google to store all information in the world to eventually come up with a solution to rule the world.

Soon about half the world will be watching the World Cup. I think machines have already figured out that this is the best time to take over the world. Most people would let the machines begin their uprising as long as they could still watch the game on TV. The machines would know that the United States is the only nation that would be aware of their surroundings during this time, so I believe they would start their mutiny in Brazil or maybe South Africa. But honestly I have no idea what countries are most involved in Football, because I’m from America. Americans pretend to be interested by calling a game you usually use your hands as “Football” and the game you must always use your foot as “Soccer”. Maybe this is why we tackle, to get our frustration out that the rest of the world doesn’t consider our game “Football”. Perhaps we thought we could trick the rest of the world into believing that we love “Football” just like they do. Did you ever notice we don’t have “Football” moms in America and only “Soccer” moms? That’s because women are the ones who will bring peace and they would never offend the rest of the world by being a “Football” mom when in reality they hate Soccer.

At any rate, I think the World Cup will bring either world peace or world war someday. My secret mission is to get machines to enjoy Soccer…I mean Football. I just hope I don’t mess up and have to go back into the future to fix everything, because it’s embarrassing traveling naked.


6/12/10

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